Gender Neutral Clothing to Wear While You Cook

A break from my regularly scheduled programming to introduce ideas on where to find gender-neutral clothing!

Expect, in the future, a blog post on what exactly I mean when I saw "queering food" - it's more than just creating a food rainbow. It's political. 

We can't all be lucky enough to live near this store in San Francisco, so what the hell do we buy when we want to schmear gender lines??

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First, for button-ups, I highly suggest Banana Republic, if you can afford it. The button-up shirts in their women's section are wonderfully made and tailored, and come in a myriad of colors and styles. They also have awesome blazers and slacks that, when put on a gender-neutral body and not adorned with jewelry, look super slick and gender-neutral! Keep an eye on their clearance section. Also, if you are "petite" or "tall" they have tons of options for you!! If you have a slightly larger frame, check out their men's section!

Secondly, for a step down in cost, check out Old Navy and the Gap. (Did you know BR, Old Navy, and the Gap are all owned by the same peeps??) They also have options when it comes to sizes and colors, have awesome Oxford and Gingham shirts (that don't accentuate the chest area), and are more price-friendly. Old Navy has tons of options for sweaters, if that's your thing, and a sweater layered over a button-up shirt is a delicious combination! Old Navy and the Gap have fewer options when it comes to women's pants - their cuts are more feminine - but if you are smaller in the hip area, check out their men's sections! Old Navy has fantastic, well-priced and high-quality, skinny jeans!

Thirdly, check out H&M! A lot of their men's clothing runs small, so more options may fit well. They have lots of super cute sweaters and shirts, in both the men's and women's section, though you may not find gender-neutral options in the women's.

Also, check out places like Ross, Marshall's, and TJ Maxx! This is where I have found all of my sweater vests, and some button-up shirts, as well. Don't be afraid to spend a couple of hours in there, sifting through the racks. 

Lastly, the most cost-effective option, though the one that may take the most trips to the stores, check out your local thrift shops! Don't be afraid of the boys' section. Dig through the ties--more and more skinny ties are showing up here, and they are much more flattering on a gender-neutral body than the traditional tie! Lots of sweater vests, odd sized pants, and sweaters and button-ups. Remember to check each item for damage!

(For a nice bow tie, check out the Hill-Side and Banana Republic. Pricey, but soooooo sexy! Look for the kind that aren't fish-shaped, or aren't super wide.)

If you have trouble finding pants that fit, check out Make Your Own Jeans. They are a tad pricey, and you have to wait while they make your clothes, but you put in all of your exact measurements, select your fabric, select the cut/style....they're wonderful.

Bits of advice - 

In any store, look for straight-legged pants. 

Look for button ups or sweaters that are slightly tailored, but not SUPER tailored -- slightly tailored means they will not be baggy, whereas SUPER tailored means they accentuate the chest and hips. Basically, when you lay the shirt flat, how much does its silhouette flare on its own? (These are not actual terms used to describe tailoring!)

Look for bralettes and buy the smallest size comfy to wear, they will act like a binder but be a step up in comfort (if you want to de-accentuate your chest!). 

For a sports bra (to wear under clothes or during workouts) Target carries the Champion line -- the ones without the molded cup are fantastic.  

Hanes has a line of undies made sized for women, but using the male styles! Target carries them - they're adorable and super comfy. 

Last piece of advice - LEARN TO SEW! If you find a sweater or shirt that is slightly too big, or too big in certain areas, most of the time it is super easy to fix this! Same with pants that need to be shortened! (You can find a decent sewing machine for $100 these days!)

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So! That is what I have on this topic, off the top of my head. Excuse the ramblingness. I will continue to add to this and edit it as time passes! Let me know if you have any places to add!

Quick-n-Easy Stuffed Pizza Croissant

Tonight for dinner I decided to try something new! I love coming up with new things on the fly, and just throwing in whatever I have on hand. It very rarely turns out poorly. 

I decided to try out some sort of a stuffed-pizza-dough thing, so I quickly mixed up a batch of pizza dough (see my earlier blog post - I made half a batch, but added Italian spices to give the dough more flavor). Then, I scrounged around in my fridge to see what I had. 

Turns out I had onion, apple, radishes, tomato, and cilantro! While the dough was rising, I diced these up and threw them in a pot with a touch of oil, salt/pepper, paprika, and some other Italian spices.

I rolled the dough out into a rough-rectangle, spread this mix in the middle, topped it with some Daiya mozzarella, and folded it over. Pro-tip: put more filling in there than you might want to at first--the dough will rise and get thicker in the oven, but the filling won't. Pinch it shut to help seal it.

I spread cornmeal on my baking pan to give the crust a nice crisp, and plopped the folded over dough thing on top (okay, okay, so I actually put the dough on the pan when it was a rectangle, and added the insides while it was on the pan!). It was kind of a weird poo-like shape, so I turned the corners inwards and VOILA, a stuffed pizza croisant was born! 

I brushed the top with olive oil, sprinkled some more fake cheese and cornmeal on top, and added some more Italian spices (heavy on the paprika and rosemary) on top. 

Then, I stuck that sucker into my oven (preheated to 350), and checked on it incessantly until it looked about done. 

The prep took me about an hour, including making dough, but I was also messing around on the internet and sitting around waiting for dough to rise...so maybe it was around half an hour of actual work or something? I forgot to look at the clock when I stuck it in the oven...time doesn't really exist, anyway, right?? But! I call this recipe "easy" because all I did was roughly measure, dice, and stir. Anyone can do this! Go forth and cook and bake hearty vegan food! Don't be afraid to put apples in EVERYTHING!

(As I'm typing this, I'm waiting for it to finish baking. This is truly the hardest part.)

So it ended up baking for about 25 minutes!

Finished product:

It looks small, but it's actually sitting on a large dinner plate! It smells amazing! It tastes EVEN BETTER!

Here's a close up:

Now I am going to go eat THIS ENTIRE THING (probably only a third of it, but still...)!

Raw Vegan Gluten-Free Processed-Sugar-Free Delicious Dessert!

Super Easy to Make Raw Vegan Gluten-Free Processed-Sugar-Free Delicious Dessert! 
See how it doesn't say "healthy"? Yeah....

I mean, this is high in fiber! and relatively high in calcium! and there's protein in it! and in each tablespoon of Chia seeds is nearly 3 grams of Omega-3 fatty acids!!! That means it's healthy, right?? At least for a dessert, maybe?

Anyway, here is my version of Chia Pudding!

1/4 cup Chia Seeds
1/4 cup Agave Nectar (raw organic)
1 cup coconut milk, unsweetened
1 tsp vanilla (alcohol free is the way to be!)
1 tsp cocoa powder
1 dash anise seed

Whisk that shit together and set it in the fridge for 2-3 hours! If you like, you can also throw it in your food processor before or after refrigeration. 

As it sets in the fridge, it will become more and more gelatinous and pudding-like! (Science is cool!) Yes, the booger-like texture can take some getting used to (admittedly, I still stick to small bites of this dish, but MANY small bites), but it's super delicious and the layering of flavors is BEAUTIFUL.

(Also, it kind of looks like poop. If you haven't noticed yet, I like to make foods that look like vomit or poop or other bodily-things.) 

If you split this up into four servings...

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size 98 g

Amount Per Serving

Calories  272 Calories from Fat  174

% Daily Value*

Total Fat  19.4g 30%

Saturated Fat  13.2g 66%

Trans Fat  0.0g

Cholesterol  0mg 0%

Sodium  9mg 0%

Total Carbohydrates  25.7g 9%

Dietary Fiber  6.5g 26%

Sugars  18.1g

Protein  4.5g

Vitamin A 0% • Vitamin C 3% Calcium 9% • Iron 12%

Nutrition Grade D+

* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

Nutritional Analysis

Good points

• No cholesterol
• Very, very low in sodium

Bad points

• Very high in saturated fat
• High in sugar

Raw Vegan Tacos!

Looking for a delicious recipe, but need to feed a group of people who have various dietary restrictions? This recipe is raw, vegan, gluten-free, and doesn't have any processed sugar! The only downside is that it will ABSOLUTELY KILL anyone with nut allergies!

This recipe is super quick and easy!

Here's the ingredient list:


1/2 cup raw almonds, plus 1 tablespoon
1/2 cup raw walnuts, plus 1 tablespoon
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoons ground cumin
3/4 teaspoons ground coriander
1/2 teaspoon liquid amino acids
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 roma tomato, diced (just the outside part, not the gross tomato-goo)
1/4 cup diced onion
1/4 yellow bell pepper, diced

4 leaves romaine lettuce (don't process these)

Throw all of these into a food processor, and pulse on the grind setting until it starts to look sort of like the texture of ground beef. If you over process, you'll just end up with a delicious nut dip/paste! 

Then, simply plop about 1/4 of this mix into a romaine lettuce leaf, top with whatever else you like -- cashew "cheese" sauce, onions, bell pepper, tomato, salsa, avocado --  and enjoy!

If you refrigerate this for a few hours (4-8) before serving, the flavors will mingle better and be even more delicious, if that's possible.

This recipe is different from most raw vegan taco mixes you'll see because I add onion and bell pepper right into the mix! I have also adjusted the spices and amount of oil. This fixed the too-gooey texture that too much oil and amino acids may give you, and also ensures a rich, layered flavor. 

Did you know that walnuts have a SHIT TON of omega-3 fatty acids? Seriously. A quarter cup gives you about 95% of your daily requirement!

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size 101 g

Amount Per Serving

Calories 214 Calories from Fat 166

% Daily Value*

Total Fat 18.5g 28%

Saturated Fat 1.3g 6%

Trans Fat 0.0g

Cholesterol 0mg 0%

Sodium 157mg 7%

Total Carbohydrates 8.5g 3%

Dietary Fiber 3.9g 16%

Sugars 2.6g

Protein 7.9g

Vitamin A 23% • Vitamin C 29% Calcium 6% • Iron 9%

Nutrition Grade B+

* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

Nutritional Analysis

Good points

• No cholesterol
• High in manganese
• High in vitamin A
• High in vitamin C

Pizza in Three Parts | Parts II and III

Isn't pizza fun??

While your dough is rising, get started on the sauce! This is my favorite part, and I get really sad when places give me pizzas with lackluster sauce devoid of flavor. This is a sauce method I developed that will ensure your sauce is PACKED full of delicious things. 

In your food processor, puree half an onion, four or five cloves of garlic, some fresh minced basil, and a red bell pepper. 

Throw that in a sauce pot with some olive oil, and heat over medium heat until it starts to bubble. 

Stir it, and let it simmer a bit, then add a can of tomato sauce. 

Stir well, and let this simmer while your dough rises. 

About 15-20 minutes before you are going to make your pizzas, add some spices! Standard spices include paprika, chili, salt, pepper, red pepper, basil, oregano, thyme, rosemary...whatever you like! Add some cayenne if you like things spicy!

(Pro-tip: Always add spices to things just before they are done cooking, especially in sauces or crock pot recipes. If you let the spices simmer for too long, the flavors will muddle and start to deteriorate.)

Here's the awesome color progression that will happen (Science is cool!):

Now for toppings, the easiest part of all!

Throw mozzarella cheese and whatever veggies or fruits on top that your little heart desires! Tonight we simply added orange bell pepper, and it was delicious. 

Other exciting things I have topped pizza with include gnocchi, almonds, tofu, fake chicken, zucchini, goat cheese,  and a whole bunch of other crap.

You'll bake your pizzas at a blistering 485 degrees for 10-15 minutes, until the cheese is bubbling all over and just barely beginning to brown.

Pizza in Three Parts | Part I: Dough

Remember when I said that not all my cooking is healthy? Yeah...

Pizza comes in three parts. Dough, sauce, and toppings. It's important to not get lazy with one of these three parts - that can result in a subpar pie, and we will all judge you! 

First, the crust. 

You'll need to start this process 2-5 hours before you plan on eating. 

Here are the ingredients:

• 1 package active dry yeast
• 1 teaspoon brown sugar
• 1 cup warm water
• 1 tablespoon kosher salt
• Extra virgin olive oil
• 1.5 cups white flour (and extra for dusting surfaces and your hands and your entire kitchen)
• 1.5 cups wheat flour

First, mix that yeast and warm water together, and throw in the sugar, too. Give it a quick stir, then let it dissolve. The warm water and sugar will help the yeast COME TO LIFE! (Science is cool!) When it is SUPER ALIVE it will start to foam a bit. That's when you know it's ready...for you to kill it again! You had no idea that making pizza dough was so barbaric, did you?

See how gross it looks first? Ew. No foam babies here! In the second photo sliver, there are SO MANY foam babies!

Next, either with a fancy stand mixer, or a wooden spoon, slowly mix your yeast mixture, salt, and a couple tablespoons of olive oil. Start adding the flour, little by little - keep it at a low speed if you are using a mixer! Once it starts to, yknow, form actual dough, you can turn the speed up a touch. Make sure to scrape the sides of the bowl and all that to get all your dough in on the party. 

Dough making can be affected by all sorts of shit - how humid and hot it is in your house, how warm that water you used in the beginning was, the quality of your flour.... - so don't be afraid to add more water if your dough is crumbly, or more flour if it is too sticky. When your dough becomes one unified dough-ball, you know it's ready for the next step.

Now for the lazy part! Knead your dough a couple of times on a floured surface, then plop it in a lightly oiled bowl, cover it with a damp towel, and let it sit and rise for 2-4 hours. If you want, you can freeze some in plastic bags BEFORE this step (when you're ready to use it, just let it sit on your counter overnight or all day). 

During this rising-time, don't forget to preheat your oven to 450-500 degrees, make your sauce, and prepare your toppings!

When the dough has doubled in size and is spongey, soft, and oh-so-voluptuous, you'll know it's ready.

Turn the dough out on a floured surface (that's a fancy way of saying turn the bowl over so the dough plops out) and, if you didn't already separate it, separate it into about three separate balls. 

Make sure your hands are floured during this part. 

Tackling each of these pieces at a time, we're going to make crusts! You can either roll them with a rolling pin, make a fool of yourself and fuck up your ceiling fan by trying to toss it in the air, or - my favorite - use gravity! (Science is cool!) 

Form the ball into a thick disc. Then, lightly hold onto one edge of it, and TURN THAT FUCKER ON ITS SIDE IN THE AIR. Gravity will start pulling that disc flatter and flatter. Medium-Quickly, be sure to rotate that disc so that you don't end up with a thick side. This can take some practice, and you can always flatten it more evenly later (or patch up any holes). 

When it's about the right thickness you want (remember, it'll rise more in the oven), gently place it on your floured pizza dish or cookie sheet or whatever you are using. I really like the round things for pizza that have holes in them - it helps the crust become extra crispy on the bottom. 

If you want to be fancy, you can put cornmeal on whatever surface you are using--don't do this if you are feeding this pizza to someone from Chicago (unless you tell them you are making pizza crust in the style of Leona's).

Brush the top of it with a layer of olive oil, and you're ready for the next step in pizza making! 

**You can also use pizza dough to make mini pizza pockets, or any number of things. Be creative!**
***Be careful not to over-handle the dough! As fun as it is to throw around the room, the more you handle it, the tougher it will become...like, um, a competitive body builder or something.***

If you divide the dough into three pies, and eat half of a pie...

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size 114 g

Amount Per Serving

Calories 293 Calories from Fat 69

% Daily Value*

Total Fat 7.7g 12%

Saturated Fat 1.1g 6%

Cholesterol 0mg 0%

Sodium 1166mg 49%

Total Carbohydrates 48.6g 16%

Dietary Fiber 1.9g 8%

Sugars 0.6g

Protein 6.9g

Vitamin A 0% • Vitamin C 0% Calcium 1% • Iron 17%

Nutrition Grade B

* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

Nutritional Analysis

Good points

• Low in saturated fat
• No cholesterol
• Very low in sugar
• High in selenium
• High in thiamin

Bad points

• High in sodium