Pizza in Three Parts | Part I: Dough

Remember when I said that not all my cooking is healthy? Yeah...

Pizza comes in three parts. Dough, sauce, and toppings. It's important to not get lazy with one of these three parts - that can result in a subpar pie, and we will all judge you! 

First, the crust. 

You'll need to start this process 2-5 hours before you plan on eating. 

Here are the ingredients:

• 1 package active dry yeast
• 1 teaspoon brown sugar
• 1 cup warm water
• 1 tablespoon kosher salt
• Extra virgin olive oil
• 1.5 cups white flour (and extra for dusting surfaces and your hands and your entire kitchen)
• 1.5 cups wheat flour

First, mix that yeast and warm water together, and throw in the sugar, too. Give it a quick stir, then let it dissolve. The warm water and sugar will help the yeast COME TO LIFE! (Science is cool!) When it is SUPER ALIVE it will start to foam a bit. That's when you know it's ready...for you to kill it again! You had no idea that making pizza dough was so barbaric, did you?

See how gross it looks first? Ew. No foam babies here! In the second photo sliver, there are SO MANY foam babies!

Next, either with a fancy stand mixer, or a wooden spoon, slowly mix your yeast mixture, salt, and a couple tablespoons of olive oil. Start adding the flour, little by little - keep it at a low speed if you are using a mixer! Once it starts to, yknow, form actual dough, you can turn the speed up a touch. Make sure to scrape the sides of the bowl and all that to get all your dough in on the party. 

Dough making can be affected by all sorts of shit - how humid and hot it is in your house, how warm that water you used in the beginning was, the quality of your flour.... - so don't be afraid to add more water if your dough is crumbly, or more flour if it is too sticky. When your dough becomes one unified dough-ball, you know it's ready for the next step.

Now for the lazy part! Knead your dough a couple of times on a floured surface, then plop it in a lightly oiled bowl, cover it with a damp towel, and let it sit and rise for 2-4 hours. If you want, you can freeze some in plastic bags BEFORE this step (when you're ready to use it, just let it sit on your counter overnight or all day). 

During this rising-time, don't forget to preheat your oven to 450-500 degrees, make your sauce, and prepare your toppings!

When the dough has doubled in size and is spongey, soft, and oh-so-voluptuous, you'll know it's ready.

Turn the dough out on a floured surface (that's a fancy way of saying turn the bowl over so the dough plops out) and, if you didn't already separate it, separate it into about three separate balls. 

Make sure your hands are floured during this part. 

Tackling each of these pieces at a time, we're going to make crusts! You can either roll them with a rolling pin, make a fool of yourself and fuck up your ceiling fan by trying to toss it in the air, or - my favorite - use gravity! (Science is cool!) 

Form the ball into a thick disc. Then, lightly hold onto one edge of it, and TURN THAT FUCKER ON ITS SIDE IN THE AIR. Gravity will start pulling that disc flatter and flatter. Medium-Quickly, be sure to rotate that disc so that you don't end up with a thick side. This can take some practice, and you can always flatten it more evenly later (or patch up any holes). 

When it's about the right thickness you want (remember, it'll rise more in the oven), gently place it on your floured pizza dish or cookie sheet or whatever you are using. I really like the round things for pizza that have holes in them - it helps the crust become extra crispy on the bottom. 

If you want to be fancy, you can put cornmeal on whatever surface you are using--don't do this if you are feeding this pizza to someone from Chicago (unless you tell them you are making pizza crust in the style of Leona's).

Brush the top of it with a layer of olive oil, and you're ready for the next step in pizza making! 

**You can also use pizza dough to make mini pizza pockets, or any number of things. Be creative!**
***Be careful not to over-handle the dough! As fun as it is to throw around the room, the more you handle it, the tougher it will become...like, um, a competitive body builder or something.***

If you divide the dough into three pies, and eat half of a pie...

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size 114 g

Amount Per Serving

Calories 293 Calories from Fat 69

% Daily Value*

Total Fat 7.7g 12%

Saturated Fat 1.1g 6%

Cholesterol 0mg 0%

Sodium 1166mg 49%

Total Carbohydrates 48.6g 16%

Dietary Fiber 1.9g 8%

Sugars 0.6g

Protein 6.9g

Vitamin A 0% • Vitamin C 0% Calcium 1% • Iron 17%

Nutrition Grade B

* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

Nutritional Analysis

Good points

• Low in saturated fat
• No cholesterol
• Very low in sugar
• High in selenium
• High in thiamin

Bad points

• High in sodium